Fighting with my Blurb - Jo-Ann Carson

Fighting with my Blurb

lovin' danger large

I hate writing blurbs. I have to compress a story I’ve worked on for months into a hundred and fifty words. I want to intrigue the reader, but I can’t reveal juicy plot twists . Uurgh!

Help!

I’d love help with this one. It’s for my novella, Lovin’ Danger, which launches in early September.

I’ve pasted the text below. I would really appreciate feedback. I’ve worked on it for a couple of weeks (with the help of three awesome critique partners) and I still don’t think I have it right.

What do you think?

You can comment below or email me privately (connect@jo-anncarson.com). Thanks.

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Lovin’ Danger

A single woman – A protective man

          Sadie Stewart, international model by day, CIA operative by night, struggles to balance her double life. She wants it all: the danger and intrigue of being a spy, the glamour of modeling on the international stage and the love of a good man. But after she survives the second assassination attempt on her life, her world spins out of control.

Art dealer, Sebastian Wilde, a Viking with cool blue eyes and the body of a Norse God, wants Sadie safe and by his side.  Her boss, the infamous master-spy, Jeremiah Cole, demands she follows his orders.

But they both should know better. Sadie is a bad-ass spy who won’t be held back by any man.

Facing  the assassin alone, she risks everything.

Smart, Sexy Suspense

Mata Hari Series #4 – a Novella

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And another giveaway reminder:

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Covert Danger by Jo-Ann Carson

Covert Danger

by Jo-Ann Carson

Giveaway ends in about 1 month(August 21, 2015)

5 copies available, 217 people requesting

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0 Replies to “Fighting with my Blurb”

  1. Hey Jo-Ann! Okay, this is my attempt:

    “But they both should know better. Facing the assassin alone, she risks everything. Sadie is a bad-ass spy who won’t be held back by any man.”

    🙂

  2. Love everything! Might suggest a tiny change: instead of “Her boss…”, perhaps something such as, “And Sadie’s boss….” Reason: I had to restart the sentence and it gave a hiccup to my reading flow and understanding. Think I got distracted by the Viking!

  3. How about,
    They should know better.
    With her life on the line, can Sadie meet the face of death head on and prove she’s strong enough to win?

    Love Sebastian’s description by the way 🙂

  4. How about leaving out part of the first line and jumping to the second, i.e. ‘Sadie Stewart wants it all: the danger and intrigue of being a spy for the CIA, the glamour of modeling on the international stage
    and the love of a good man.’ My reasoning is that the second line repeats the information given in the first line. I know that leaves out that lovely phrase about her double life, but I think it makes it
    tighter. Just my opinion. I think the blurb is good as it is too.

  5. OK, sign me up for a copy NOW! And I actually like the blurb just as it is. If I did anything to change it I would remove the last line and leave us with Sadie, the bad ass spy who won’t be held back by any man.

    1. Aaah Pat
      that’s just the reaction I want readers to have. You make a good point. I’m going to think on that one.
      Thanks so much for stopping by and looking at my blurb again.
      my best
      Jo-Ann

  6. Hey, Jo-Ann. IMHO LOL I don’t like Sadie’s description as a “bad-ass spy.” That just doesn’t seem to describe her. She’s smart and will do about anything to get the job done, but “bas” doesn’t do it for me. I agree with combining the first two sentences. And agree. Blurbs are the pits. Sometimes having someone else write it for you helps. We’re too tied to all our lovely words and story angles. I know you’ll get it just right!

    1. Thanks Marsha. Has worried me. I like to keep my usage currant but you’re right it misses her. Thanks so much for your feedback.

      Best

      Jo-Ann

      Who is heading to the ocean for a swim. We have another heat wave but they say it will only last two days this time.

      Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

      From:”Jo-Ann Carson” Date:Sat, 18 Jul, 2015 at 2:58 pm Subject:[Jo-Ann Carson] Comment: “Fighting with my Blurb”

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