Indie Rambles #10 - I Make God Laugh - Jo-Ann Carson

Indie Rambles #10 — I Make God Laugh

The saying goes something like this: If you want to make God laugh, make a plan. I think he’s laughing right now.

My plan was to launch the first three titles of my Mata Hair suspense series on April Fools day 2015. A demanding but doable task, I thought. But then, along came an obstacle. Now we all have bumps on our road, big and small, but this one has  razor-sharp teeth that bite. It hid in the shadows and pounced, blindsiding me.

Now, I’m not looking for pity. Trust me, I’ve been wallowing in a sea of my own for a week. And I’m not looking for sympathy. At least I don’t think I am. I just need to rant.

My obstacle? Another Cancer diagnosis. The big C for a second time. Urrrrrgh!

I put on a brave face for the world, but I’ll let it slip for a minute. If you’ve been there, you know how I’m feeling… the hollowed-out gut, the dry rancid mouth, the sight of death’s door looming inside your head. A crippling fear stirring  in every fiber of your body, echoing through your bones like a demon from hell. And worst of all the lonely, sleepless nights that feel like they’ll never end. I really wanted to never do this again. Can you hear the laughter?

Seven and a half wonderful years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The next two years were taken up with… let’s just say nasty stuff. Now, I have endometrial cancer, most likely the direct result of the cancer drug I’ve been taking.

Yup, my card came up again. I will deal with it. <deep breath> I will endure whatever tests, procedures and drugs I’m given with as much dignity as a woman in a hospital gown that doesn’t cover her ass can,  and I will heal. I’ll also spare you the details.

But…  I really don’t want to be sidetracked from my writing plan. Now, I’m laughing. As if my plan is really that important in the big scheme of things. Life is funny. At least, mine is. It teaches me, sometimes in the most unpleasant ways, but it teaches me. I move forward.

End of rant.

I’ll be off-line for a while (probably two-three months) to catch my breath, but I will be back. Count on it.

Best Wishes to all



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0 Replies to “Indie Rambles #10 — I Make God Laugh”

  1. You are totally allowed to seriously rant. Rant, rant, rant. I accompanied my friend on her cancer journey, so I know from her perspective some of your thoughts. You are one tough woman Jo-Ann and this unexpected diversion from your writing path is a shock I’m sure.
    Please feel free to email me when you feel like it. I’m so sorry that you have a new battle to undergo.
    I’m sending you my thoughts and my prayers. Words don’t seem sufficient. If there is anything I can do to assist you from afar – please connect.
    Your health is the most important aspect of your universe. Hang in there!

  2. Oh Jo-Ann, I’ll say it for you, THIS SUCKS!! Please, please let me know if there’s anything at all I can do to help your publishing dream to fruition. We all need something to hang on to.
    Take care, my friend.

  3. Jo-Ann,

    I have no doubts, I said, NO DOUBTS, you can beat this cancer too! You are a survivor and survivors never stop fighting! Take this time to take care of yourself, then get yourself back here. You have a books to launch! Like everyone else has said here, if you need ANYTHING, please just ask. We are here for you!

    Take care friend,
    Diane Kratz

  4. Jo-Ann, know my thoughts and prayers are with you. But like others have said, you are one strong woman and you are a survivor. One of the things you have going for you is your sense of humor. Even now as you tell us about this situation, we see it shining through. Laughter is healing. You will get through this and you will publish your books, even if a bit past your selected date.
    Take care of yourself and come back whole to us. 🙂 Marsha

  5. Oh, CRAP! Jo Ann, I have no wise words; you know far better than I what’s coming and how to fight. Don’t know if you’ve met Ilene C from GVC – she launched her career to escape from the crap from breast cancer.
    You’re not alone, there are those of us out here who love you. Keep at it!

  6. Jo-Ann, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this – again. It’s so unfair! Rant all you like, as you gear up for the battle ahead. Surely all this can only make your writing stronger. I’m keeping you in my prayers.

  7. Jo-Ann, after reading this post, my first thought would get beeped anywhere but on HBO!! My friend – I’m so sorry. You need someone to rant at???… just call. I like Starbucks too and I’m only a short drive away. As hard as it is to believe 🙂 I can shut up and listen… and I care. XO

    1. Hi Mimi
      Thank you for your kind words Mimi. You are always so supportive. Do me a favor and knock this last book out of the stadium, so I can watch it soar. You’re awesome.
      who is going to go google HBO

  8. I will try this again… my computer keeps posting before I’m ready…. wanted to say, I’m here, anytime you feel like ranting, blowing off steam, or even having a pity party (we need those sometimes too)…. just shout. I’ve been to the land of Cancer, didn’t like it and hope to not go back either. Sucks that you have to go through this, but maybe if you think about Mata Hari while you’re on this journey she’ll help you get through some of the long days….. all the best and hope to hear from you along the way.
    Give it hell woman, we’re all here to egg you on!

  9. Jo-Ann, I wish you all the best. I’ve been quietly following and cheering for your publication plan. I know just how exciting it is to see the finish line, and just how discouraging when the obstacles come. You’re an amazing woman. Fight with all you’ve got, write when you feel like it, and be very sure that you have many, many people in your corner, friends who are with you all the way.

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